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I’ve had some great doctors over the years, and then I’ve had some that clearly cheated on the final for Bedside Manner.
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Ninjitsu + hickory smoked pork products = DELICIOUS JUSTICE!
I have stuff and some of it is on my desk.
OK, technically this should fall under Stuff NEAR my desk. You can only fit so much awesome in a single cubicle and I’m already in there. Yes, that’s a large piece of bacon dressed like Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, two ragingly epic things joining forces to capture (and clog) the heart of the internet.
OK, it’s not real bacon, just an incredible simulation. Click on the image for a closer look. Bacon Buddy, as we call him around the office, is a synthetic bacon being left over from a colleague’s birthday celebration, and the costume comes from last year’s Halloween party. It makes us all feel safer knowing that we have a bona fide superhero in the house, ready to thwart anything that might need thwarting.
Pigabunga, dudes!
Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.
So, was Adamantium invented by Adam Ant? Discuss.
I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.
Time for yet another slightly nicked nicknack from my workspace.
He’s Wolverine, bub, the adamantium-laced badass. He’s the best there is at what he does, but what he does ain’t very nice. I lost count of how many times I heard Wolvie recite that spiel during my days as a fan of the X-Men comic book, but now I see how vague it is out of context. It could mean he sells meth disguised as Mr. Rogers or that he cheats at checkers.
This is a Burger King Kids Meal toy from the X-Men: Evolution animated TV series that ran from 2000-2003 (click on the image for a closer look). For those only familiar with the live action version of the character played by Hugh Jackman, you’ll notice this Wolverine has a flashier sense of fashion. Obviously, a character who looks cool on the comics page can look like a mom’s basement-dwelling social reject in a realistic setting, hence Jackman doesn’t wear spandex or the Batman mask on steroids.
In any case, I’m still not playing checkers with him.
Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.
See those shoes? That’s what gamma radiation does to a pair of crocs.
I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.
It’s called a Zudes, dudes. One of the sales people in our office brought it back from a conference in Europe, so for years we’ve just called it the “German Computer Thingie”, even though the box has a logo from a U.K. toy company and the Zudes has a distinctly Japanese look to it. That makes us geographically challenged, I suppose. At first glance it looks like the product of a drunken indiscretion between a troll doll and a late 80s Apple computer. Upon a second look, you realize just how appropriate the initial interpretation was and leave it at that, content in realizing that this odd coupling has produced the first sentient race for whom ingrown toenails are the leading cause of death (I mean, look at those clodhoppers).
A Zudes is actually a game and despite having years to master it I haven’t the slightest idea how it’s played. I think it’s kind of in the Giga-Pet family, and supposedly they’ll interact with others of their kind, so there may be a little Furby DNA in there as well. For the most part, though, I think they exist as a warning against beer-goggling.
Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.
I know how it looks, but are YOU going to tell him?
I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.
No, you’re eyes are not deceiving you, that is in fact Godzilla in a tube top. Gaze upon it and despair. Actually I think it’s some sort of wrist band, but around the office we’ve come to think of it as a tube top. Who would have thought The Big G could so easily pull off the trailer trash kaiju look? Or, for that matter, even that trailer trash kaiju was a thing.
There are a few different bits of Godzilla ephemera lurking around my workspace. This particular one reflects the “Millennium” era which includes Godzilla films produced between 1999 and 2004. I’m assuming this is how he looked between takes, when he wanted to relax a bit. Perhaps he would fill out the ensemble with a favorite pair of Daisy Dukes, a cigarette dangling from his lip, and a Diet Mr. Pib in his hand. If he’s comfortable with it, who am I to judge?
This, of course, brings up the question of Godzilla’s gender. The movies have given us a handful of Godzilla offspring over the years, but none of them have been articulate enough to use terms like “mom” or “dad.” The title character from 1967′s Son of Godzilla was known to blow radioactive smoke rings, which, while saying nothing about gender, demonstrates some pretty crappy parenting. The American Godzilla flick from 1998 had it’s star laying eggs, but as any kaiju fan can tell you, that guy was NOT Godzilla, demonstrated by his lack of radioactive breath and his complete inability to rock a tube top like the real King of the Monsters.
Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.
Holy crap! Is that Peter Weller?
I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.
The whole gummy thing puzzles me. The candy is OK, but it’s like a race to see who can sculpt it into the most unappealing shape. Gummy worms, gummy rats, gummy internal organs (not making that one up, friends). It’s like the candy companies took a meeting with every kid in the U.S. and said, “OK, you’re going to make your mom puke. What do you need from us?”
I know it’s hard to read in the picture, but this product is called a “Gummy Face.” Yeah, it’s meant to be eaten, making this the ideal snack for when you’re tripping balls on bath salts. It’s been sitting around my place of work for a few years now making the gradual transition from “gross but approved by the FDA” to “nope, that’s not getting anywhere near my mouth.”
This guy has never left his original packaging, not for fear that it would mar his collectability, but out of concern that whatever chemical reaction has been going on in there might launch the zombie apocalypse, albeit with a delicious fruit flavoring.
Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.
No, wait, THAT”S Peter Weller.
