Later, Gator

by gerb1574 on January 16, 2015 at 1:43 pm
Posted In: Comic

Lest anyone thinks The Gerbil has gone to that big exercise wheel in the sky, I’m still here. My cartooning efforts have been focused elsewhere of late. I have been working on a mini-comic and I’ve been doing some spot illustrations for a way cool monster mag called (oddly enough) Monster! The recent announcement of Sharknado 3 seemed like a perfect time to share the ‘toon above. Make no mistake, I enjoyed the first two installments in a sort of blunt force head trauma survivor kind of way. Is this sequel necessary? Hell, no. Will it find an audience? I imagine there will be enough folks tuning in just to see if Tara Reid loses another appendage to guarantee Sharknado 4.

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Stuff On My Desk: Nunzilla

by gerb1574 on March 20, 2014 at 1:54 pm
Posted In: Blog, Stuff on My Desk
Nunzillas

There’s none like Nunzilla. Except for, well, that other Nunzilla right next to her.

I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.

No, there’s no Photoshop trickery at work there, I actually have TWO fire-breathing windup nun dolls on my desk. I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t six the standard?” A common misconception. No, a duo of walking, flint-spark-spewing sisters gets the job done.

My original Nunzilla  stopped breathing hellfire some time ago, and I felt her stern expression and ruler of righteousness weren’t enough to give me that constant sense of impending damnation. Hence I purchased an emergency backup Nunzilla, and now once again my days are filled with anxiety and the vague smell of incense.

Nunzilla has been a novelty store staple for years, often displayed amongst such stalwarts of shenanigans as the fake dog crap and the whoopee-cushion. Thanks to some enterprising toy executive, it’s possible for folks with a troubled Catholic upbringing to freaking weird themselves out all day long.

Amen.

Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.

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Stuff on My Desk – Bacon Mutant Ninja Turtle

by gerb1574 on February 13, 2014 at 2:00 pm
Posted In: Blog, Stuff on My Desk
Bacon Mutant Ninja Turtle

Ninjitsu + hickory smoked pork products = DELICIOUS JUSTICE!

I have stuff and some of it is on my desk.

OK, technically this should fall under Stuff NEAR my desk. You can only fit so much awesome in a single cubicle and I’m already in there. Yes, that’s a large piece of bacon dressed like Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, two ragingly epic things joining forces to capture (and clog) the heart of the internet.

OK, it’s not real bacon, just an incredible simulation. Click on the image for a closer look. Bacon Buddy, as we call him around the office, is a synthetic bacon being left over from a colleague’s birthday celebration, and the costume comes from last year’s Halloween party. It makes us all feel safer knowing that we have a bona fide superhero in the house, ready to thwart anything that might need thwarting.

Pigabunga, dudes!

Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.

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Stuff On My Desk – Wolverine

by gerb1574 on February 6, 2014 at 2:00 pm
Posted In: Blog, Stuff on My Desk
Stuff On My Desk - Wolverine

So, was Adamantium invented by Adam Ant? Discuss.

I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.

Time for yet another slightly nicked nicknack from my workspace.

He’s Wolverine, bub, the adamantium-laced badass. He’s the best there is at what he does, but what he does ain’t very nice. I lost count of how many times I heard Wolvie recite that spiel during my days as a fan of the X-Men comic book, but now I see how vague it is out of context. It could mean he sells meth disguised as Mr. Rogers or that he cheats at checkers.

This is a Burger King Kids Meal toy from the X-Men: Evolution animated TV series that ran from 2000-2003 (click on the image for a closer look). For those only familiar with the live action version of the character played by Hugh Jackman, you’ll notice this Wolverine has a flashier sense of fashion. Obviously, a character who looks cool on the comics page can look like a mom’s basement-dwelling social reject in a realistic setting, hence Jackman doesn’t wear spandex or the Batman mask on steroids.

In any case, I’m still not playing checkers with him.

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Stuff On My Desk – Zudes

by gerb1574 on January 23, 2014 at 2:08 pm
Posted In: Blog, Stuff on My Desk
Stuff on my desk - Zude

See those shoes? That’s what gamma radiation does to a pair of crocs.

I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.

It’s called a Zudes, dudes. One of the sales people in our office brought it back from a conference in Europe, so for years we’ve just called it the “German Computer Thingie”, even though the box has a logo from a U.K. toy company and the Zudes has a distinctly Japanese look to it. That makes us geographically challenged, I suppose. At first glance it looks like the product of a drunken indiscretion between a troll doll and a late 80s Apple computer. Upon a second look, you realize just how appropriate the initial interpretation was and leave it at that, content in realizing that this odd coupling has produced the first sentient race for whom ingrown toenails are the leading cause of death (I mean, look at those clodhoppers).

A Zudes is actually a game and despite having years to master it I haven’t the slightest idea how it’s played. I think it’s kind of in the Giga-Pet family, and supposedly they’ll interact with others of their kind, so there may be a little Furby DNA in there as well. For the most part, though, I think they exist as a warning against beer-goggling.

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Stuff On My Desk – Godzilla in a Tube Top

by gerb1574 on January 9, 2014 at 2:30 pm
Posted In: Blog, Stuff on My Desk
Godzilla in a Tube Top

I know how it looks, but are YOU going to tell him?

I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.

No, you’re eyes are not deceiving you, that is in fact Godzilla in a tube top. Gaze upon it and despair. Actually I think it’s some sort of wrist band, but around the office we’ve come to think of it as a tube top. Who would have thought The Big G could so easily pull off the trailer trash kaiju look? Or, for that matter, even that trailer trash kaiju was a thing.

There are a few different bits of Godzilla ephemera lurking around my workspace. This particular one reflects the “Millennium” era which includes Godzilla films produced between 1999 and 2004. I’m assuming this is how he looked between takes, when he wanted to relax a bit. Perhaps he would fill out the ensemble with a favorite pair of Daisy Dukes, a cigarette dangling from his lip, and a Diet Mr. Pib in his hand. If he’s comfortable with it, who am I to judge?

This, of course, brings up the question of Godzilla’s gender. The movies have given us a handful of Godzilla offspring over the years, but none of them have been articulate enough to use terms like “mom” or “dad.” The title character from 1967’s Son of Godzilla was known to blow radioactive smoke rings, which, while saying nothing about gender, demonstrates some pretty crappy parenting. The American Godzilla flick from 1998 had it’s star laying eggs, but as any kaiju fan can tell you, that guy was NOT Godzilla, demonstrated by his lack of radioactive breath and his complete inability to rock a tube top like the real King of the Monsters.

Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.

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