Creepy Gummy Face

Holy crap! Is that Peter Weller?

I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.

The whole gummy thing puzzles me. The candy is OK, but it’s like a race to see who can sculpt it into the most unappealing shape. Gummy worms, gummy rats, gummy internal organs (not making that one up, friends). It’s like the candy companies took a meeting with every kid in the U.S. and said, “OK, you’re going to make your mom puke. What do you need from us?”

I know it’s hard to read in the picture, but this product is called a “Gummy Face.” Yeah, it’s meant to be eaten, making this the ideal snack for when you’re tripping balls on bath salts. It’s been sitting around my place of work for a few years now making the gradual transition from “gross but approved by the FDA” to “nope, that’s not getting anywhere near my mouth.”

This guy has never left his original packaging, not for fear that it would mar his collectability, but out of concern that whatever chemical reaction has been going on in there might launch the zombie apocalypse, albeit with a delicious fruit flavoring.

Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.

Peter Weller as Robocop

No, wait, THAT”S Peter Weller.