I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.

Plush Mini Cthulhu

What rough beast slouches toward the Walmart toy department to be born.

Cthulhu and many other denizens of H.P. Lovecraft’s fictional universe are often described as being so horrifying that to gaze upon them is to go pants-shittingly mad. The loss of one’s sanity and undergarments in one fell swoop is impossible to come back from.

But what if Lovecraft had it all wrong? What if the Elder Gods drove people over the brink by just being too stinking cute for this world? Take, for example, this adorable mini plush Cthulhu that hangs out on my work desk. Equally at home with exterminating humanity or playing with puppies, this kaiju-sized monstrosity is the Old One we need in this post-LOLcat world.

Curious about what else might be on my desk? Why wouldn’t you be? Click on over here to see the ephemera that impedes my productivity.