Stuff On My Desk – Zudes

Stuff on my desk - Zude
See those shoes? That’s what gamma radiation does to a pair of crocs.

I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.

It’s called a Zudes, dudes. One of the sales people in our office brought it back from a conference in Europe, so for years we’ve just called it the “German Computer Thingie”, even though the box has a logo from a U.K. toy company and the Zudes has a distinctly Japanese look to it. That makes us geographically challenged, I suppose. At first glance it looks like the product of a drunken indiscretion between a troll doll and a late 80s Apple computer. Upon a second look, you realize just how appropriate the initial interpretation was and leave it at that, content in realizing that this odd coupling has produced the first sentient race for whom ingrown toenails are the leading cause of death (I mean, look at those clodhoppers).

A Zudes is actually a game and despite having years to master it I haven’t the slightest idea how it’s played. I think it’s kind of in the Giga-Pet family, and supposedly they’ll interact with others of their kind, so there may be a little Furby DNA in there as well. For the most part, though, I think they exist as a warning against beer-goggling.

Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.

 

Stuff on My Desk – Gummy Face

Creepy Gummy Face
Holy crap! Is that Peter Weller?

I have stuff, and some of it is on my desk.

The whole gummy thing puzzles me. The candy is OK, but it’s like a race to see who can sculpt it into the most unappealing shape. Gummy worms, gummy rats, gummy internal organs (not making that one up, friends). It’s like the candy companies took a meeting with every kid in the U.S. and said, “OK, you’re going to make your mom puke. What do you need from us?”

I know it’s hard to read in the picture, but this product is called a “Gummy Face.” Yeah, it’s meant to be eaten, making this the ideal snack for when you’re tripping balls on bath salts. It’s been sitting around my place of work for a few years now making the gradual transition from “gross but approved by the FDA” to “nope, that’s not getting anywhere near my mouth.”

This guy has never left his original packaging, not for fear that it would mar his collectability, but out of concern that whatever chemical reaction has been going on in there might launch the zombie apocalypse, albeit with a delicious fruit flavoring.

Curious about the other Stuff On My Desk? Click here.

Peter Weller as Robocop
No, wait, THAT”S Peter Weller.